Face it: you want this logo with all your heart, but your brain still needs convincing. Here are the top ten reasons to adopt the New Woodrow Logo:
10. Can you imagine how awful it would be to be defeated by a team with that on its helmet? There is no way to play Woodrow without experiencing soul-crushing depression. If your team loses to Woodrow, then your team lost to "That Team With That Thing on Their Helmets." And if you win? Well, yours is the team that beat "That Team With That Thing on Their Helmets," so big deal. There is no way to play us without follow-up visits to a therapist, and that means Victory.
9. It's a "Logo for the People!" Anyone, even people who attend community colleges in Arizona, can draw the New Woodrow Logo. For free, no less.
8. The paw makes a "W."
7. It doesn't rip off the Cub Scouts, unlike some colleges we could mention.
6. Current students LOVE the New Woodrow Logo. Almost everyone I informally polled thought it was awesome, and the few who didn't lacked artistic vision and seemed to possess a skewed definition of masculinity based on outdated, sexist paradigms of a bygone era. Who wants to promote skewed definitions of masculinity based on outdated, sexist paradigms of a bygone era? People in Arizona, that's who. I mean, seriously, some old guy from Arizona nearly put Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Sarah Frickin' Palin. This is not even close to being in line with the enlightened, cosmopolitan education Woodrow Wilson High School offers its students.
5. It promotes entrepreneurship. Think about it: Some Woodrow kid can go to Walmart or Target with a twenty dollar bill, pick up a 7-pack of plain, white undershirts and a jumbo permanent marker, create seven shirts to sell at a Woodrow athletic event, hawk them for $10 each and clear fifty bucks with minimal effort. That's America, people!
4. It defies the norm, and that's cool.
3. The movement has already begun. The New Woodrow Logo has been spotted in Lakewood businesses already. Don't hang back with the brutes!
2. Did you really read this far?
1. Majesty: it just reeks of it.